Husbands and wives fight sometimes. Even the the most godly marriages experience conflicts, misunderstandings, anger, silence, and distance. We sin against each other in various ways. The questions is not whether we will experience tension and quarreling, but rather what we will do when it strikes. Let me encourage all of us toward a godly ambition when we find ourselves in the midst of one of these difficult moments. Husbands and wives should seek to race toward humility. In conflict, humility is needed. Humility is needed to admit that prideful anger is always sinful, regardless of whether it was provoked or not. Humility is needed to lay down our pride that is easily offended by our spouse’s sin. Humility is needed to remember that our rights and reputation and vindication belongs to the Lord. Humility is needed to count others more significant than ourselves–their pains, their needs, their desires. Humility is needed, but often husbands and wives fold their arms and demand that the other person respond first. “I’ll humble myself if you will!” or “I relented last time and now it’s your turn”–might pass through our minds. Instead, our hearts should be vigorously seeking grace to humble ourselves first, to lay down our pride first, to take up the lowly position first. This is a race we should be running to win, for the glory of God and the love of our marriage.
This is a race that our pride rails against, our arrogance clinging to our feet like weights determined to hold us back. But it’s a race that every husband and every wife should be running to win, through the power of the Spirit, and with our eye on the cross of our humble and exalted Savior. My married friends, let’s win the race toward humility. Make it your aim to relent first, to confess first, to express affection first, to encourage first, to acknowledge first, to listen first, to humble yourself, first.
Lets run the race toward humility. One conflict at a time.